where is my mind?
by SeraSkunk
Summary: So pretty much whats going down is karkat and dave become friends rather quickly and things escalate for the good AND bad, plus a MURDERER! jakedirk is another side ship in it. WARNING: contains content that may make some readers uneasy! such as: self harm, and other self mutilation type things.
1. prolouge

This is the prologue: it pretty much is the start of 2 stories im working on (this one and a dirkjake one) gives some insight on the backstory if you don't agree with dirkjake I recommend skipping to the paragraph where Dave walks in :3

Dirk sat on his bed staring out his window; thanks to his shades the sun wasn't too bright. He sat and contemplated on going to see Jake, but quickly dismissed the idea. Jake had no idea how he felt and even though Dirk tried his best to make it obvious, Jake always seemed to think it was just Dirk's way of being friendly.

There was a knock on his apartment door. Dirk sighed heavily and went to answer the door. He looked through the peephole, but it was fully black, obscuring whoever was on the other side. He reached to his side and grabbed a hold of the katana sitting there, in case it was a very unwelcome guest. He cautiously opened his apartment door to a familiar face. Dirk let go of the katana and opened the door further.

"Hey there, chap," Jake said with a smile "mind if I come in for a chat?" right to the point of the visit, that was so unlike him.

"What? Are you here for more uranium?"

"No, nothing of the sort" looking into his eyes, Dirk figured he was telling the truth and opened the door for his guest to come in.

Jake made his way to Dirk's room almost immediately upon entrance. Strange, usually he went straight to the living room. Dirk followed him to his bedroom and shut the door. He looked at Jake, and could immediately tell he was nervous about something.

"Alright, mission accomplished. Now what did you want to talk to me about?"

"Well… Jane brought it to my attention that I've been missing you drop some hints about having romantic feelings for me. And I guess I wanted to ask you if it were true that you viewed me as more than a friend," Dirk could feel his stomach drop, and made a mental note not to tell Jane much anymore. Jake looked up at him as if waiting for an answer.

"Well, does that make you uncomfortable?" Jake looked back down contemplating as if he wanted to make sure he knew how he truly felt about it. The more he thought, the more uncomfortable it made Dirk feel. When Jake looked up again Dirk found him blushing.

"Well, I felt you being male would always make me uncomfortable, but now I think I was just being foolish,"

"What makes you say that?"

"Well because the thought doesn't bother me now," Dirk looked at Jake like he had misunderstood. Dirk crossed the room to where Jake was sitting and placed his hands on either side of Jake's legs.

"Are you sure about that, Jake?" Jake instinctively leaned back and looked up at Dirk. His face was turning bright red from the sudden gesture. Realizing that Dirk was still waiting for an answer, he leaned forward and gently placed his lip upon Dirk's.

They sat there like that for a few moments before Jake broke the kiss. His face was a dark shade of red that spread across his whole face and ears, and down his neck. Dirk started laughing furiously.

"What's so funny?" Jake asked unamused and slightly angry. Dirk quickly regained himself and smiled at the British boy in front of him and snorted out another laugh, which made Jake somewhat angry. He asked what Dirk was laughing about again.

"Your face was so red it was like a little British tomato!" apparently that made Jake more playful rather than angry because he pounced on Dirk's back.

"I like tomatoes," Jake sighed into Dirk's hair "they taste so good"

"They taste like nothing," Dirk replied

"You taste like nothing," Jake said jokingly, but apparently Dirk hadn't cared for that comment because he grabbed Jake's wrists and flung him back onto the bed and climbed on top of him and sat on his chest.

"Are you sure you don't want to rephrase that?" Jake looked up at him wide eyed and could feel a tingling sensation at his crotch. Dirk slowly reached for the top of his pants. "Because I can always prove you wrong"

Suddenly the front door slammed signaling Dave's arrival to the apartment. Dirk jumped off Jake and ran to his usual spot by the window before Dave opened the door to his brother's room and made eye contact with Jake. Ice cold glare. And it didn't help that his eyes were red.

Dave walked over to his brother and threw something on Dirks lap. After a second Jake realized what it was. It was his sunglasses shattered by yet another tough day at school.

Dirk ran a hand through his hair. "Who this time?" he sighed "and what for?"

"Some asshole named Karkat and I have no idea," Dave looked rather confused at the last part.

"Same kid as last time?"

Dave nodded.

"Well there's a spare pair in the kitchen drawer I'll take these and get them fixed tomorrow. Ask him what his fucking deal is and tell him prescription sunglasses are expensive,"

"Not like he'd care"

"Whatever, then ask him what his fucking deal is then,"

Dave nodded and walked out of the room. That was the third pair of glasses that kid broke in a month. Karkat sounded like a totally bogus name so it was doubtful it was a real kid. Dirk hunched over and looked stressed out.

"Jake, go home I need to figure out what's going on with Dave. I'll have to force it out of him with it just being him and I. I'll call you later or something ok?"

Jake nodded and walked out of the apartment careful to lock the door behind him. He turned the corner and ran right into someone. He immediately apologized and looked down the saw a small teenager in a black long sleeve shirt.

"What the hell asshole don't you watch where the fuck your going!"

"I said sorry. You're in a bad mood aren't you?" the kid stood up and brushed himself off.

"No, its my fucking personality, dumbass, but since you seem to know your way around these apartments do you know where room 754 is?"

Of course he knew it he just left that apartment room number.

"May I ask why you want to find that room so badly?"

"There's a fuckboy that I go to school with in that apartment. The school gave me the address because my brother is making me apologize." Jake looked down the hall to see someone resembling him remarkably, but with a bright red sweater on.

"Around this corner his bro is my best friend. 754 is on the right" the strange boy muttered something to himself. "Hey, Karkat, what's your problem with Dave?"

"How'd you know my name?"

"Well, you learn someone's name after they constantly pick on their best friend's little brother and keep breaking prescription sunglasses that belongs to said person"

The boy flushed a bright red colour "he wont leave my friend alone and she's the only friend I have that goes to that school and she hasn't looked at me in months, not like she would see me if she tried. I just want him to leave her alone" he grunted "why do you care so fucking badly anyway asshole?"

"Karkat, language." The other in the red sweater was suddenly behind Karkat. "Go apologize now."

The brother of Karkat nodded and introduced himself as Kankri Vantas. Jake nodded and made his way to work.


	2. Chapter 1

~~Dave's POV~~

I sat in my living room one of John's stupid Nic Cage movies were on. It was that one with the stupid rabbit. I couldn't think of the name of it right now. There was a knock on the door; An angry knock. My brother was in the shower, so I had to answer it. I figured it was Jake coming back to grab something so I got up off my spot on the couch and answered the door. I suddenly got very angry at the familiar face at my door.

"What," I said angrily "come to break the only spare pair of shades I have left?"

"No, fuckface, I came to apologize," the angry mass acted like he was hit when he said apologize.

"Language," a voice came from the side. It was someone I couldn't see.

"I'm sorry for breaking your stupid sunglasses. Now can you leave Terezi alone PLEASE?"

"What's your reason that I should?" I asked this with actual concern.

"It's a long story," he blushed

"I've got the time," I peeked out the doorway and saw an older version of him with curly hair and a bright red sweater that mimicked my eye colour. "You two can come in if you'd like"

I wasn't all that angry I figured he liked Terezi when she first came up to me a couple months prior. He never seemed to leave her side. They both came in slowly almost awkwardly. I led them both to the living room. Red sweater boy sat down on the couch; Karkat continued to stand.

"Is there somewhere we can talk privately?" I looked up at Karkat and he looked away from me.

"Sure this way," I looked at the mass of red "umm I guess make yourself at home. My brother is in the shower beverages in the fridge glasses in the top cabinet. Also there's a stool under the sink if you need it," I saw him nod and turn his attention to the television.

I led Karkat to my room and shut my door behind him. He sat on my bed and put his head in his hands. His body shook violently. He took heavy, unsteady breaths. I stood against my door and waited for him to calm down, or at least finish whatever he was doing.

"You ok bro?" he wiped his face with his sleeve before looking up at me. His face was red, as if he had been crying.

"Yes, asshole, I'm fine. Anyways, she's the only friend I have," he glanced my way before continuing. "No one really likes me, or I don't like them, or both. More or less I don't want to lose her," he started shaking again. So, he didn't have a thing for her she was just his only friend. He pulled his sleeves down further over his hands and looked away from me.

"So what's with the long sleeves?" he looked at me as if I just stabbed him. "Its like 100 degrees outside and you're wearing long sleeves. You and that Tavros kid. Then that Eridan kid does sometimes," I knew exactly why he wore the long sleeves both Eridan and Tavros told me why they do after I cornered them and forced them to tell me.

"I have sensitive skin. I don't know about the other two assholes, but I have sensitive skin."

"I don't believe you because sensitive skin would include your face which you never have covered, even when school lets out. In fact you practically embrace the sun," he glared at me. He knew I was onto him.

"Anyways I would appreciate it if you would leave my friend alone since she doesn't care about me when you're around. I have stupid fucking homework to get to, if you don't mind," he stood and at about that time I heard talking in the living room and my name being called. I sighed and opened my door. I walked to the living room and asked what my brother wanted.

We talked with Karkat's brother, Kankri, before Karkat got angrier than he already was and they both left. I was tired as all hell, so before my brother could question me about anything I went and took a shower and crawled into bed. It wasn't even 6 o'clock yet but I fell asleep almost immediately.

Karkat's POV

The walk to Kankri's car was long and silent. Who just goes off on someone for a single word like that? When we got home I went straight to my room and sighed. At least he let me go. I shut my door and took off my shirt. I looked down at my arms.

Why did he ask me about it? Is it that obvious? I rubbed my wrists and winced a little bit. I didn't even tell Terezi about my issue. I ran a finger over one of my cuts. I felt tears well up in my eyes again. Its bad enough I cried at Dave's house in front of him.

I turned around and locked my door so Kankri wouldn't walk in. I took off my pants and ran my hand over the wounds on my thighs. The pain has started feeling good. Too good. I took my hands off my legs and went over to the bed. I sat down and looked at my computer. Someone was pestering me, but I wasn't in the mood to talk anymore. I lay down on my bed and covered up. Slowly I drifted to sleep.


	3. Chapter 2

Dave's POV

I opened my laptop it was 4:30 in the morning and I was already ready for school. I had a message from Terezi. She was giving me Karkat's pesterchum handle. I opened a new conversation and started messaging him

TG: hey bro its Dave.

CG: HEY ASSHOLE

TG: I'm assuming you were asleep

CG: NO IM JUST LIKE THAT.

TG: that's weird. Well, I got your handle from Terezi so since I was up I thought I'd message you. I wasn't expecting a reply.

CG: WELL I DON'T SLEEP MUCH, SO I'M ALMOST ALWAYS FUCKING AWAKE.

TG: I hate waking up early.

CG: YEAH WELL ITS ABOUT TIME FOR KANKRI TO TAKE ME TO SCHOOL CAUSE HE HAS TO GO TO WORK EARLY SO BYE.

CG ceased pestering TG

I looked at the time only five minutes had passed he was going to school at 4:35 in the morning? That was strange.

I picked up my backpack and left my apartment. I passed by a coffee shop on my way. I saw Jake working the counter and went inside. He handed me a coffee and a scone. Jake makes the best scones. I hope he moves in someday. I say my goodbyes to him and continue my walk towards school. Usually my bro takes me, since it would take a couple hours to walk there, but I figured id walk it. I had my shades pushed up on top of my head because it was dark and there was no reason to make it darker.

By the time I got to school it was 6:45. I walked through the halls and spotted Karkat leaning against the wall in front of a very angry looking Terezi. It was so loud in the hallway that I couldn't hear what was being said. Suddenly Karkat bursts out into a run. I knew where he was going. There was only one bathroom no one knew about but he and I. Though, he didn't know I knew about it. I walked casually to the solitary bathroom, ignoring Terezi who was calling my name. I rounded the corner leading to the bathroom. I started to open the door when I heard an awful choking sound then sniffling. I rolled my eyes and opened the door. I heard shuffling and a metallic clink on the ground.

"Shit!" Karkat whispered it but it still sounded loud. I rounded the corner inside the bathroom and was met by a crumpled mass struggling to put its shirt back on.

"Dude calm down it's just me." Out of the corner of my eye I saw him poke his head out from under his shirt. "What are you doing in here anyways?"

"I could ask you the same thing," he pulled his foot closer to his body and it sounded like metal scraping the floor.

"What's under your foot?" he looked over at me and glared.

"None of your fucking business, asshole." I sighed and walked over to him and grabbed his ankle. "Let go fuckface!" I lifted his foot up and picked up the razorblade under it. He froze and looked away from me. Tears welled up in his eyes. "Why don't you just leave me alone?" the tears fell down his face and he wiped them away with his sleeve. I saw bright red blood on his fingertips.

"Because I'm not that kind of person," I gently grabbed his arm and helped him up. I led him over to the sink and rolled up his sleeve. I looked up at him, but he wasn't looking at me. He was looking at his wrist. He had little white fat pockets poking out from the wound. I turned the water on and grabbed a paper towel. I wet the towel and lightly pressed it to the wound. He flinched and made a whimpering noise. I took out my gym clothes and ripped off the sleeves of the t-shirt. I cut one of the sleeves and used it as a bandage to wrap around his small wrist. I tied it just as soon as the bell rang.

"I'm keeping this by the way," I waved the razor in his face. He blushed and nodded. I patted him on the back and smiled at him. "See you in 3rd hour,"

"That's fair see you then, Dave," I walked out of the bathroom and went to my first period class.

Karkat's POV

His sleeve was tight around my wrist. I looked down at it. It was red and white striped. I pulled down my sleeve and went to my first class. This was the first time I was dreading most of my classes. Seeing as how they were with Terezi. Her words played back into my mind 'I didn't know you were gay. I always wondered why you were such a pussy'. I bit my lip and walked into my first class. Math god fucking damn it.


	4. Chapter 3

Karkat's POV

3rd period came around and I walked into class. Terezi was sitting next to Dave. I sat in my normal spot. I put my head in my arms. Suddenly the chair next to me came out of its spot and someone sat down. I looked up and saw Dave sitting there pulling his Chemistry book out of his backpack. Of course I forgot all my books at home so I had just been taking mental notes of the homework assignments. Dave slid a pen over to me.

"Thought maybe you needed a pen or something," he pulled out multiple pieces of paper so I had something to write on for the rest of my classes. He pulled out a folder: a bright red folder. He handed it to me and looked in his bag for some other things. He paused with a pained look on his face. And grabbed something out of his pocket. He pulled out a red and white striped sleeve and stuck it in his bag. He kept his hands in his bag for a moment before pulling them out and shoving his sleeve back in his pocket.

He looked at me and smiled and showed me his finger with a cut in it. I rolled my eyes and laughed at him. He was trying. I put the paper in the folder he lent me and wrote down the homework assignments thus far. A bright red ink pen just fucking perfect.

When lunchtime came most everybody left so only the underclassmen and a few upperclassmen were left in the cafeteria. I walked off school grounds and went by a local coffee shop that wasn't too far from the school. Most kids that walked to their lunch destination would never go there but they had the best croissant sandwiches and I was a fast walker. When I got there I opened the door to the little coffee house and walked up to the counter. The bell on the door jingled as I got to the front. I turned and saw Dave standing there scanning the coffee house. I turned back around and moved up the line and ordered my sandwich and a large hot chocolate. I waited as the familiar face prepared my food and beverage.

"Here you go, Karkat." I took my items and sat down and started eating. The next thing I knew Dave was sitting himself down in front of me.

"So what happened, bro?" Dave asked curiously

"I don't fucking know. I got depressed?" he acted as though he didn't understand what I had just said.

"I'm not talking about that; I thought you hated me,"

"Well you're not that fucking bad ok?" he seemed pleased with my response.

"I figured as much, but what happened between you and Terezi? I saw her yelling at you, but I didn't hear what about" I was glad he didn't hear. I didn't want him to know about her hitting on me and trying to make out with me and me pushing her away. She knew I was gay, but she always tried shit like that. She'll come back to me in a few weeks.

"I don't really know what happened. One minute she was happy the next she was mad and yelling at me."

"Hmm" I looked up at him to find his eyes locked firmly onto me. It startled me a bit, until I realized he wasn't wearing his shades.

"Why aren't you wearing your shades, asswipe, aren't they prescription?"

"Yeah, but its dim in here so it doesn't hurt my eyes so much, besides why do I have to wear them I'm not looking at anyone other than you," I could feel my cheeks growing red. No one has ever given me this much attention except Terezi, but it felt different from him.

"So, then you not only cant see shit, but also have eyes that are vampires?" he laughed a bit at that. It wasn't meant as a joke but I couldn't stop myself from laughing with him.

We talked like that for a stupid fucking long time when the guy from the hall came over to our booth. His nametag read 'Jake'. It had a smiley face next to it.

"Uhh, Dave, Karkat, you guys know school's been out for over an hour right?" his British accent made me sick. I pulled out my phone and realized it was almost 5 o'clock. I shrugged it off it was Friday anyways, not like Kankri would have been picking me up. I almost always walked home on Fridays.

"Shit already, I was looking forward to art class this time." Dave looked over at me. "Well, what about coming over to my place?" I nodded and we stood up and left.

Dave's POV

Karkat walked next to me the whole way to my house. We walked into my apartment and I went directly to the fridge. "KARKAT DO YOU WANT ANYTHING TO EAT OR DRINK?"

"God fucking damn it, do you have to yell I'm right fucking here," I looked behind me. I didn't realize he was directly behind me. He wasn't looking at me, but in the hallway at my door. "If you have a Faygo I'm good with that." I handed him an orange Faygo and grabbed myself a cola. I stood and led him to my room. My brother was gone for the weekend. Something about a client a couple states over. Not that I cared, but I'm sure Jake did.

We sat in my room in silence for a while, drinking our sodas. He tapped away on his phone, probably sending a message to Kankri. He rolled up his sleeve and pulled off the makeshift bandage I made him and handed it to me. I took it and put it on my nightstand. I sat next to him on my bed as he started his shaking he does when he's trying to keep himself from crying. I put my hand on his back and he let his tears fall into his lap. He made sobbing sounds that filled my room.

Just like that he was letting it all out. He apologized for being a jackass toward me and cried and blubbered about Terezi. He said he was sorry for lying to me and asked why he was so unlikable. I didn't know the guy had so much hatred toward himself until he scratched his arm trying to get a physical pain to take place of the emotional pain that was eating him alive. I couldn't watch him hurt himself so I grabbed his arms and held him down. I hovered over him and told him to calm down. I almost begged him to calm down.

Eventually he calmed down and apologized to me again. I slowly got off of him. He took his shoes off and brought his knees up to his chest. He looked away from me.

Karkat's POV

I felt really embarrassed. Dave had only been on me a few moments after I calmed down, but I was already hard. Why did I have to have a kink like that?

"do you mind if I take my shirt off?" I didn't realize Dave was asking me if it was ok until he nudged me. I said I didn't and he proceeded to undress himself. I could relate it was over 100 degrees today and it was September.

"is it ok if I take off my shirt?" I couldn't believe I had just asked that. I couldn't believe when he said it was ok that I did. I couldn't believe I did it. I looked down at my stomach and ran my fingers over my cuts and scars there. I didn't know what was happening to me. It was almost like I was doing things automatically. I ran my fingertips on my arms. I was conscious of Dave watching me. For the first time since elementary school I was topless in front of someone. I ran my fingers over my rib cage. I ran my hands over my shoulders. I crawled over to Dave and sat in front of him. I took his hand and I put it on my thigh.

Dave's POV

I didn't know what to do or what to say. My hand was on his thigh. It was strange. I barely knew this guy, but he had come out of his shell to me, when he couldn't even do that for his best friend. I ran my fingers over his thighs. I placed a hand onto his stomach and ran it over the raised and indented areas. Suddenly I started questioning my own sexuality. I always assumed I was straight, but if anything could say otherwise it was my own genitalia, which was currently proving me wrong.

I looked into Karkat's gray eyes. I leaned in closer to him. His forehead was pressed to mine. I licked my lips and pressed them against his. I pressed my lips into his harder and pushed him back onto my bed without breaking the kiss. I grabbed his legs and pulled him closer me. My hard on pressed against his and he moaned softly.

He wrapped his legs around my waist and cautiously pushed his tongue into my mouth. I ground my hips into his and caused him to moan again. It sounded so fucking cute, dear god. His arms snaked around my neck and pulled me down further. I pressed my hand against the crotch of his pants and rubbed it gently. He moaned a bit louder causing my stomach to turn in a good way. His hands went to my chest and he pushed at me. I pulled myself off him.

"too… soon…" I looked down at him. His face was red and he was breathing heavily. I smiled and sat up to my normal position against my wall closest to the door. After a few moments he sat up. "sorry, Dave"

"its cool I was starting to hurt a bit myself" I looked over at him again he was smiling. The first genuine smile I'd seen on him. Other than when I made him laugh earlier. I stood up and stretched. "how about a movie?" he looked at me.

"sure what do you have in mind?" I opened my door.

"I figured you could chose" I looked at him and motioned out my bedroom. He got up and followed my into the living room.


	5. Chapter 4

Karkat's POV

I stared at the case of movies I pulled out one and read the title 'My Little Pony: Equestria Girls' I furrowed my brows. What the ever-loving fuck was this shit? I shoved it back into its place. The smell of popcorn wafted into my nose and my stomach growled suddenly. I groaned and looked at a couple other movies before choosing one. I took it to the DVD player and put it in. He laid himself onto the couch. I looked around. There wasn't anywhere to sit. He looked at me as if he knew exactly what I was thinking.

"you can sit here" he patted his stomach.

"I'd rather lay down if you don't mind"

"I don't mind at all" I walked over to him and laid down on top of him. He was warm. Warmer than anything I'd felt before. He put his hand on my back. I heard him groan and looked up at him "you had to chose the worst movie didn't you?"

"I've never seen it before"

"you're not missing much, dude" I shrugged and he pressed play. About 45 minutes in I got bored of the movie. I looked up at Dave to find him staring down at me.

"have you even been watching the movie?" I asked him.

"nope" I laughed at him. His shades were on again. I pushed them onto his forehead "what are you up to?"

"nothing" I looked into his eyes. They were bright red and mesmerizing.

"don't stare for too long. I might just kiss you"

"so scary, Strider" he sat up forcing me to sit up with him. Our faces were closer together in this position. His lips pressed against mine and his hands went to my ass. I moaned softly. He slipped his tongue into my mouth and pulled me closer to him. His hands were in my back pockets and I felt like my body was burning. My jeans were getting tight again. Dave broke the kiss and started gently biting my neck and shoulders. His hand went to my crotch again. He looked at me as if to ask if it were ok to continue where we left off last time.

I nodded. It was still very sudden to do much. He rubbed gently and I gasped. It felt so good. He unbuttoned my pants and put his hand between them and my boxers. And rubbed at my crotch again. I started moaning automatically. He reached into my boxers and started stroking my length. I wrapped my arms around his neck and leaned down to kiss him. He rubbed my tip with one of his fingers and I started thrusting my hips into his hand. "fuck it.. feels…" my words were cut off when the front door opened.

Jake from the café was looking at us in shock. Dave hadn't stopped stroking me so I was still gasping and moaning. I forced myself to look at Dave. I was getting so close.

"how? How does it feel?" he was biting his lip. God damn he had THIS kind of kink? I could work with this.

"it feels good.. so fucking good" I reached down and stroked his more than likely aching bulge. He let out a loud gasp. His face was red and his shades were back into his face. I pulled them off and tossed them onto the floor. He reached down further and rubbed my balls. "FUCK!" my body convulsed as I came all over his chest.

He smiled at me and unbuttoned his pants. I slid down to the floor. He stuck his dick in my face and I put the head in my mouth. I circled my tongue around it. Out of my peripheral vision I saw Jake lean against the arm of the couch. My face started burning. 'this will be better for Dave' I thought to myself 'a kink like this he needs to know what it does to him'. Dave put his hand on my head. His dick was throbbing against my tongue. His breathing was becoming more rapid.

"Jesus, Karkat I'm so close" I could feel both their eyes on me and I hummed in acknowledgement. He pushed my head down slightly as his cum hit the back of my throat. I swallowed and pulled his shaft out of my mouth. I looked down at my knees. Did I really just do that? His hand cupped my chin and made me look up. His eyes were filled with concern "are you okay?" I nodded. He kissed my forehead. I stood up and walked to his bedroom. I picked my phone up off the bed where I had put it down earlier. I turned the screen on 13 missed calls. All from Kankri. I rolled my eyes. It was also 8:30 so obviously I wasn't coming home. I tossed my phone back onto the bed and walked into the kitchen where Jake was finishing up dinner.

"well, chap looked like you were quite experienced." I glared at him.

"that's not your fucking business"

"you're right it was an observation" he smiled at me. His accent still made me sick. I opened the refrigerator.

"cola and orange sodas?" I pulled out an orange Faygo.

"yeah Dave likes Cola. Dirk likes Orange sodas. Needless to say there's not much of a variety" I rolled my eyes.

I downed the orange Faygo almost immediately. Now I had an orange cum taste in my mouth.

"trying to get rid of the taste?" I froze. "It'll go away if you don't drink something carbonated. Not water either. Trust me something uncarbonated with a strong taste is good." He handed me a glass of milk "like this"

I took the drink from him and took a couple drinks. The taste was gone and I downed the glass of milk quickly to get rid of it. Some dripped out of my mouth and trailed down to my stomach. I sat the glass down and a paper towel was shoved into my face. I took it from Jake who was blushing. I snickered. He looked like a little tomato.

"what's so funny?"

"you look like a tomato is all" he dropped the spoon into the pan and looked at me with wide eyes. I used the paper towel to clean up the milk streak off my body. I tossed it in the trash and walked back into the living room. Dave was putting the movie back into its case, so I went and laid on the couch.

Dave's POV

After dinner I went and took a shower. Jake had left promising to be back later to cook again. I stood under the water thinking about Karkat. He was comfortable in front of Jake with his shirt off. It showed his scars and recent cuts, yet he never once started feeling self conscious. Jake didn't ask about the wounds, which I was thankful for. I turned off the water and stepped out of the shower. I walked slowly down the hall to my room. I looked casually at the door. I noticed it was still unlocked and went and locked it.

I turned my attention to my room again. I walked into the room and found Karkat sleeping snugly under the blankets. I pulled on a pair of boxers so as not to be too tempted to do anything. He was sleeping so soundly. Snoring softly every once in awhile. I laid next to him and fell asleep soundly.


	6. Chapter 5

**Sorry for the short chapter and all the POV changes. I got a bit stumped and changed POVs and with this one, the juices weren't flowing.**

Dave's POV

When I woke up Karkat wasn't next to me. I smelled food, and that's all I cared about right then. I sat up and walked out of my room to see Jake and Karkat in the kitchen. Karkat had his shirt on and looked kind of out of it. Jake wasn't wearing his jacket and I could faintly see the scars on his arms from where I was standing. Jake noticed I was just standing in my doorway like an idiot and handed me a coffee from the café.

"breakfast will be finished soon" he smiled at me. I nodded and took a sip of the still warm coffee. Karkat looked up at me and smiled weakly. He sipped some of his drink and seemed to relax a little.

"whatchya got there Kar?"

"hot chocolate"

"so you don't like coffee?" he made a face at me.

"ew coffee is so gross"

"if you say so" I laughed at him and walked into the living room. He followed close behind me.

"I mean don't get me wrong the smell is nice the taste.. not so much" he sounded a bit unsure of something. Something was off. He wasn't acting like himself. I sat on the couch and looked up at him. Something was wrong.

Karkat's POV

He was watching me as if he knew something was wrong. I knew he would find out. My wrist was throbbing. He would find out what I had done. Theres no way he wouldn't. He smiled at me. I smiled back at him and drank some more of my hot chocolate. I sat down next to him and leaned up against him, resting my head on his shoulder. I wanted to appear as normal as possible. I felt his hand snake around me to my back. He rubbed my back and leaned his head down to rest on mine.

"so what's up Karkat?" my heart started racing.

"nothing. Cuddling with you."

"no what's going on in your little mind?" I furrowed my brows. He was trying to get me to say something before he found out on his own accord.

"just wondering where we stand now." I wasn't lying, but it wasn't the full truth either. His other arm wrapped around the front of my body. He pulled me closer to him as if to hug me. My cheeks were getting warm.

"well, that's a tough one. I guess it all depends on what we're both looking for in a relationship.." he sighed and lifted my chin to look at him. "do you really want to be with someone like me?" I bit my lip. Of course I did. But did he really want to be with me?

"of course I do.. but would you actually be happy with me?" he looked at me as if I just hit him.

"what makes you think I wouldn't be?" I looked away from him. I had to tell him.. it wasn't right to force him to find out for himself.. I pulled at my sleeves. Hands suddenly were on my arms. I looked at him. He was staring at me. His eyes were wide.

"I'm sorry, Dave" I felt tears in my eyes. He was going to hate me. I knew he was. I didn't want to lose him too. He pushed up my sleeve. He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me tight against him. I almost dropped my hot chocolate.

"don't apologize. Just don't. its ok everything is going to get better." He rubbed my back and ran a hand through my hair. "I'm here for you. 100%. I'm not leaving anytime soon." Tears started falling down my face and I felt so gross suddenly. My nose was runny and I'm sure I looked horrible. He pushed me back to look at my face. I covered my face with my hands. I didn't want him to see me like this. He pulled my hands away from my face.

"no I'm ugly. Let me hide the ugly!"

"you're not ugly" he wiped the tears from my face. "you're adorable" he pressed his lips to mine and pulled away. An innocent kiss was nice. It showed he meant how he felt.

"you guys know breakfast is ready, right?" we looked up. Whoops forgot Jake was making it. I took a drink of my hot chocolate and walked to the kitchen to clean my face off. Dave came up behind me.

"we'll talk more about this stuff when he leaves ok?" I nodded. My face was red again and I was suddenly nervous to know Jake would be leaving. I was more nervous about what our conversation would entail.


	7. Chapter 6

**so this was the most idek chapter I wrote. I didn't even know what I was doing. I wasn't feeling like super inspired, but I winged it. congrats me!**

Karkat's POV

I had never felt so full in my life. Jake was a damn good cook. Fucking British accent still made me sick, but now it wasn't as bad it was only when he talked a lot. I stretched my arms above my head and hit the wall in Dave's room. I smiled and brought my arms back down, resting my hands on my stomach. Jake poked his head into the room and said his farewell to me. I nodded and he left. I heard the front door shut. Not too long after Dave walked into his room where I was at. My stomach turned and he sat next to me. Here comes that dreadful talk.

"hey, ready for that talk?" he ran his hand through my hair.

"fuck no"

"me either" he sighed and put his hand next to him. "but it has to happen sooner or later"

"I know, but I really hate talking about things like this"

"you really hate a lot of things." He smiled and laughed. "but that's ok" he leaned down, laying on his stomach next to me. "why did you stop cussing so much?"

"its more or less a cover.. I don't need a cover around you" he smiled and put an arm around me. I looked into his eyes.

"that's cute" I smiled.

"shut up" I playfully smacked him on the arm.

"listen to that lack of verbal abuse" he nuzzled into my neck causing me to giggle "it almost disappointing"

"fuck you, Strider" I couldn't stop laughing the way he was nuzzling me tickled so much.

"you know you want to" his hand went to my side and squeezed. I squealed and bent into his hand. "why so ticklish, Vantas?"

"stop! It tickles!" he laughed and kept tickling my sides. Suddenly I felt very turned on. What the hell?

"how come?" his other hand squeezed my other side and I wiggled back and forth. My jeans were getting tight. I bit my lip. "you look cute wiggling around like that. Why do you want me to stop?"

"because I'm getting turned on!" suddenly he stopped. His face was no longer on my neck I opened my eyes. He was staring at me with a surprised expression.

"are you serious? Why didn't you tell me tickling did that to you?"

"because I didn't know it did that to me"

"has no one ever done anything like this before?"

"I've never let anyone this close to me to find out"

"not even Terezi?" he looked at me, he was obviously worried on what my answer would be. I'd cut over Terezi one too many times. I couldn't keep doing that, but where would I be when Dave finally left me? I'd be without anybody. I couldn't be there again. It would be too hard. It would hurt too much. I felt tears brimming my eyes and shook my head to answer the question Dave last asked me. He took his hands off my sides and put them up higher on my rib cage. "so what did she say to you that made you want to hurt yourself?" he ran one of his hands over my stomach.

"I'd rather not say" his hand roamed up to my chest. My stomach felt like it dropped. It was a good feeling.

"if you insist" there was a long silence. I thought he had fallen asleep but when I looked at him he was staring straight at me. "why did you do it?" I bit my lip. I couldn't exactly place why I did it. It felt like the need was gnawing at me and wanted to get out. I couldn't tell him I felt like I needed to cut. He would get so upset with me. I put my hand on my forehead.

"I felt like I needed to. I felt a throbbing in my wrist and it wouldn't go away and it started hurting. I did the only thing I knew to get rid of it."

"what did you do with the razor?" I took my hand off my head and cautiously reached into my pocket. I pulled out the razor and handed it to him.

"I was gonna hide it when I got the chance. Back in your bag." he looked at me and then the razor blade in his palm.

"I would have found out eventually"

"I know that.. I just hoped you wouldn't. but where do we stand now?"

"like relationship wise?"

"yeah like relationship wise" he tossed the razorblade into the over flowing waste bin, then looked at me.

"well we kinda already talked about it. You're good being with me and I'm good being with you. We both figured we'd be happy together, so I guess we're dating now?"

"I guess so" I could feel how red my cheeks were.

"then that's settled." He kissed me on the cheek and pulled the covers over us. "now for extra sleep" I felt I should call Kankri, but Dave put his arm over me and I felt so content and happy I fell asleep next to him. For the second time in 12 hours.


	8. Chapter 7

**so yeah this chapter was so slow the end of it and beginning of the next is where shit got rollin**

Karkat's POV

I felt a dull poke in my lower stomach. It felt familiar. It didn't move, so I opened my eyes. I was still in Dave's arms; my face in his neck. I groaned. The sun was setting. I couldn't believe it was so late.

"you're finally awake?" Dave pulled himself away from my body and was smiling at me.

"yes. Its so late now though"

"well its like 6 on a Saturday night"

"and..?"

"and lets go out and do something"

"like what?"

"a movie? Dinner? Maybe an arcade or something?"

"but we can't drive"

"all three of those places are down the street"

"really?"

"yeah, its ironic huh?"

"yeah"

he got up and walked to his closet. He grabbed two towels and tossed one to me and left the room. I waited for him to return for all but two minutes. I stood up and walked slowly to the bathroom. The water in the shower wasn't running, so I knocked on the door. The door opened slightly and then wide and I was pulled inside. The door shut behind me. I looked up. Okay WAY up. Way more up than I realized. I looked up to see Dave smiling down at me.

"its about damn time"


	9. Chapter 8

**I apologize deeply for the ruined mood but I warned you guys. I warned you**

Karkat's POV

The water was cold. It cooled off my overheated body. His hands were sliding down my back. There was that poke in my stomach again. His mouth was moving in rhythm with mine. Water streamed down my face, at some points into my nose. There was a finger pressing against.. oh shit that was my ass. I moaned softly, rather automatically. It pushed in deeper. It hurt but felt really good. I bit Dave's lip and I felt him smile. Fuckin' Strider and his fuckin' cuteness.

His finger pressed in deeper. My moaning was getting louder. Shit what if Jake was in the house? I don't want him to hear this. I don't want him to ever see anything like this again. I pulled my mouth off Dave's and bit my lip to try to keep myself from moaning much louder. He pushed his finger in a bit more. So much for not moaning louder. I dug my teeth into his chest. I felt weightless. He was.. what was he doing? Was he seriously laughing right now?! I pried my teeth out of his chest and looked up at him.

"What's so fucking funny, Strider?" he stopped laughing for a moment.

"you're a tight ass" he kept laughing.

"tell me what's funny before I leave!"

"I did! You're a tight ass." I was getting irritated with him. I reached around and grabbed his wrist.

"yeah I get told that a lot from Terezi. Now what's so fucking funny?!"

"I told you what was funny" I pulled his wrist backwards and his finger came out with it.

"no. you called me a tight ass"

"exactly you're a tight ass. It's supposed to be funny" I stepped out and wrapped a towel around myself.

"I don't know how an insult is supposed to be funny" the water shut off and he was out rather quickly.

"its not an insult" he paused. "at least, I didn't mean for it to be" I opened the bathroom door and walked quickly to his room.

"I'm not putting up with this shit" I grabbed my phone and called Kankri. He went on about how worried he was when he answered. After he calmed down I told him where I was and to come get me. Dave walked into his room after I hung up.

"Kar, don't be mad at me" I ignored him. I wasn't putting up with his shit right now. He put a hand on my shoulder and I pushed it off. He stood behind me in silence before walking out of his room. I had to leave before I got emotional. There was a knock on the front door. It opened and I heard Jake singing one of his stupid songs. I looked over at his waste bin. And grabbed it. I had more at home, but this one was my favourite. I looked around and grabbed the sleeve. I also grabbed the bright red folder that had my papers for school in it.

I walked out the front door and went down the staircase. Kankri was pulling up when I walked out the main doors to the building. It was gonna be a long ride home.

Dave's POV

I didn't mean for it to sound like an insult. I ran my hand through my hair. He had to be home now. I stood and walked to my room. something was off. I couldn't tell what it was. I looked over at the trash can. Something was missing. It was probably nothing too important. I need to take that out actually. Eh I'll do it later. I sat on my bed and laughed to myself. Tight ass. I realized what it must have sounded like now that he was gone. Shit what was wrong with me?

I picked up my phone and called Karkat. It rang 4 times before it was answered.

"hello?" that voice was familiar but it wasn't Karkat's.

"who is this?"

"Kankri." He sounded pissed off, but I didn't know the guy he might just be one of those people.

"can I talk to Karkat?"

"unfortunately no. he's locked himself in his room"

"how come?"

"who knows you probably triggered him."

"wait what?"

"triggered him. Like said or DONE something that made him uncomfortable."

"well I know I did that's why I'm calling I just realized what I SAID"

"he won't be coming out for awhile. IF he does that is. So I'll tell him you want to apologize when he comes out. Is that alright?"

"yeah"

"ok goodbye" he hung up before I could say goodbye. I had a bad feeling about everything. I don't think it will be getting any better.


	10. Chapter 9

**this is probably very easily the longest chapter by far and it took me on an emotional rollercoaster while writing it so hopefully its good.**

Dave's POV

Monday morning. I fucking hate Mondays. I got up and started getting ready for school. I still haven't heard from Karkat or Kankri. Dirk was taking me to school so it wasn't all that early. I was signed to a bus, but I never had to ride it. It was a just in case thing. Just in case Dirk was out of town AND it was raining. I walked out of my room and straight into my bro.

"yo, I got to go out of town later."

"so you won't be picking me up?"

"and its supposed to drop down to the 30s by the time you get out."

"so you want me to ride the bus?"

"I think you should keep it in mind. I know you fair well with the cold, but it might be better not to walk today. I heard we may get ice and I heard we might not so yeah"

"I'll grab my jacket, then"

I grabbed my jacket and we left. Of course we stopped by the café Jake runs for me a coffee.

"can I get a hot chocolate instead?"

"sure, but you always get coffee"

"I just want to try something different"

"ok"

he walked back out with my hot chocolate and handed it to me. He took me to school and I went about the day rather awkwardly.

3rd period came around. I walked in 10 minutes late. My teacher didn't appreciate that too much. I looked around and didn't see Karkat, which was odd. He never missed school. I sat next to Terezi. I was really beginning to not like her.

The end of the day I walked onto the bus. I fell asleep and missed my stop. No one knew where I lived or who I was on the bus so no one woke me. I woke up by someone shaking me violently. That put me in a bad mood. I looked up to see John.

"what?"

"did you see Karkat today?"

"no did you?"

"no. I have to give him his homework though. Will you come with me? He kind of scares me"

"I guess"

John and I walked up the steps to a rather large house and knocked on the door. Kankri answered and told us to come in. he directed us to Karkat's room and John knocked on the door.

No answer. My stomach dropped. Something was wrong. He knocked on the door again. I faintly smelled blood. Something was seriously wrong. I tried the doorknob. Locked.

"Karkat I have your homework!" John was giving me a questioning look. I looked down at Kankri. He had his brows furrowed. Panic started to sink in. I slammed my shoulder into his door. It opened immediately. I darted in and saw a pile of Karkat; bloody and barely conscious. I pulled out my phone and called for an ambulance. I knelt down next to him and picked him up. His body was still warm. I couldn't hear anything. I didn't realize I was yelling. He was looking up at me with his gray eyes. I didn't even realize I had started crying. I don't know when my glasses got thrown off of my face. I didn't care. I don't even remember how I got to the hospital or where John went.

I sat in the waiting room. my bro was there. He was supposed to be out of town. Why was he here? I didn't talk to anyone. I waited for what seemed like years for a doctor to tell me I could see him. I needed to see him. Kankri was crying. Some greaser looking guy was with him and tried calming him down. Jake busted through the doors and ran up to me. He was trying to tell or ask me something but I couldn't comprehend it. I stared straight at the doors that they pushed Karkat through. Shit this was taking way too long.

I swear I sat there for another eight years before the doors opened with news about Karkat. I stared at him. I couldn't hear anything he was saying. What the hell? Suddenly Dirk and Jake were pulling me up. They led me through the doors. Nurses and doctors were moving quickly throughout the halls. In and out of rooms. We came close to a room and I could see Karkat. He was pale. His eyes were closed. I was beginning to hear.

I heard ringing of phones and voices saying my name and asking me if I was okay. I nodded and walked through the door. I walked by where he was. I put my hand in his. His eyes remained close.

"they said he wouldn't wake up for awhile" I looked up and saw the greaser leaning against the wall staring at me. "trust me I went through this with my brother"

"who's your brother?"

"Eridan" it wasn't his voice. The greaser smiled.

"hey chief. Back so soon?"

I looked back at Karkat. His eyes were open.

"hey Cronus" he looked up at me. "Dave? What's wrong?" his hand came up and wiped under my eye.

"you scared the fucking shit out of me"

"I'm sorry"

"no. don't apologize. I'M sorry"

"for what?"

"I didn't mean it the way I said it"

"I know." he pulled the blanket off his wrist. I looked down there were no fresh cuts except the one he did in the bathroom at my house and school. This wasn't making any sense.

"what happened?"

"I tried to sever the artery in my thighs"

"he didn't try. He did" I turned and looked at the doctor.

"what?"

"well, he grazed it. Its deeper in there than you think" she walked over to a little computer mounted to a moving pedestal on the wall. She typed some things and turned her attention back to us. "do you feel any pain?"

"to be honest I always feel pain"

"emotional or physical"

"both" she jotted down some notes.

"have you ever thought about suicide or attempted it before?"

"yes"

"which one?"

"both" she nodded at his answer and wrote down some more things.

"do you feel depressed often?"

"no" she looked up at him as if to explain more "I usually feel numb. Not depressed."

"so you cut to inflict some type of feeling?"

"yes" she nodded and wrote down some more things.

"what usually inflicts the feelings to cut?"

"different things.. conflicting feelings, the feeling of being trapped"

"what do you mean by trapped?"

"like emotionally disconnected and unable to detect how I feel"

"how does this make you feel trapped?"

"it just does I don't know how else to explain it"

she asked him a few more questions before pulling Kankri out of the room to talk to him. Karkat looked at me.

"they're going to put me in a psychiatric ward you know"

"I wont let them" I didn't want him to go. I could help him I think.

"it won't matter what you say. Its up to Kankri" I looked back behind me. Cronus nodded and walked out of the room. "he's my guardian." I looked back at Karkat. His eyes were brimmed with tears. "he'll let them take me"

"I doubt that"

"why? He doesn't care. He never did"

"he cried the whole time. He rode with you to this place. Cronus couldn't even calm him down" tears fell down Karkat's face. "he cares more than you think. It would be the end of his world if you died"

"I should have taken pills instead"

"what?"

"I would have been gone sooner" I felt my heart drop. I felt tears in my eyes. I looked away from him. I took my hand away from his and I walked to the doorway. "Dave? Where are you going?"

"to think. Maybe you think I don't care either, so I'm going to think" I walked out of the room. I heard him calling my name, but I kept walking. I walked out of the emergency care corridor. I walked out of the waiting room. I kept walking.

Maybe this was all a bad idea. Did he think I didn't care or something? I cared more about him than I had most other people. I stopped in front of a park. I walked to a bench and sat down. I cared too much to dump him. I cared too much to hear him talk about killing himself. I couldn't bear the thought that he wished he would have done it differently. I felt water hit my legs. I didn't realize I was crying. Why did I take what he said so personally?

I heard footsteps coming up to me.

"Dave?" I looked up to see Rose. "are you okay?" her purple scarf danced in the wind. We had two totally different lives for siblings. She lived in this area. I lived on the whole other side of town. She had a cat and I had a boyfriend.

"yeah, I'm fine"

"your body language says otherwise. What are you doing on this side of town?"

"Karkat's in the hospital"

"ah, yes your boyfriend. What for?"

"attempted suicide"

"then why are you here?"

"he said he wished he would have taken pills and died sooner"

"harsh. So you left him when he needs you most?"

"I didn't leave him"

"then why are you at the park rather than next to him?"

"I needed to think"

"about why he wanted to die sooner?"

"yes"

"did it occur to you it was because he felt like he didn't have anyone?"

"no"

"well you might want to go be the person he needs, rather than proving him right"

"how do you know that's how he feels?"

"because I feel the exact same way half the time" she pulled the zipper down on her jacket some and a cat head popped out "but then I remember I have my cat"

"that's kinda weird, sis"

"maybe so, but you're Karkat's cat. He feels like he has no one so you have to roll onto his keyboard in the most irritatingly cute way possible. Nuzzle his face and junk"

"shit in a box of dirt?"

"no, but I'm sure that's how he feels right now. Except that box of dirt was his heart. And you shat all over it and walked away" she pet the cat's head. "he feels like the cat that the kids wanted for their birthday or Christmas that got hurt and damaged and they kicked it out into the cold world to fend for itself." She pulled the cat out of her jacket and handed it to me. I took it; it had a cloudy eye, messed up ears, and three legs. "and someone else will take that damaged cat and give it the care it deserves. And love it because that's all that poor kitty needs" I looked up at her. "and guess what, brother"

"what?"

"that kitty will forget the ones who weren't there when he needed them most. That kitty will still have scars, but the emotional damage that kitty received will be gone forever. That kitty will see its old owners one day and treat them like strangers because that's what they became. That kitty will be loved by somebody who will cherish him" she took the cat from me. "don't become the old owner of Karkitty. Be the new owner. Show him nobody will care about him more than you do" she put the cat back inside of her jacket and zipped it up. "hypothetically of course. Unless he's into that. Trust me, Dave, he feels alone and cold. Make him feel warm and loved"

"thanks, Rose"

"anytime. But if I were you I'd run to him. Run to your damaged kitten and love him before someone else does" I stood and hugged her, thanked her again and ran back towards the hospital.

I ran into the waiting room, through the doors to the emergency care area, and into his room. everyone looked at me. Karkat was crying. He wiped away his tears when he saw me. I rushed over to him and pressed my lips to his. When we pulled apart I apologized.

"its okay"

"no it isn't. I left you when you needed me the most"

"you kinda did" I pulled away from him and looked at him. He was smiling. "but I forgive you" he chuckled.

The door opened and we all looked at the two blondes who walked in. Dirk shuffled awkwardly in his place. Rose walked up beside me and unzipped her jacket. The cat hopped out onto Karkat's bed. It hobbled up to Karkat and nuzzled his face, then hobbled back to Rose. She picked it up and put it back in her jacket.

Kankri and Cronus walked back into the room. Kankri's face was red. Cronus had a big smile on his face. I noticed Cronus had a hand on Kankri's hip. I didn't know Kankri could have a significant other. Wait a minute. Does that mean everyone in here except my mom is gay? I know Rose is doing a long distance thing with a girl. I'm with Karkat. Dirk is with Jake. From the looks of it Cronus is with Kankri. Holy shit, are we taking over the world? That's so badass.

"so, they're not taking me to a psychiatric ward?" Karkat's voice broke my train of thought.

"no, I advised against it"

"why?"

"because I felt it would make things worse" he scratched the back of his neck. "I feel like spending more time with Dave would help.. if you hadn't cut while there and you feel happier there by all means you have my permission to be there whenever. So long as his father is cool with it" I looked back at Dirk it was weird for him to be referred to as my father. I always referred to him as my bro because he was there for me like a brother rather than a father. He looked up and smiled.

"yeah its cool with me" Jake put his hand on Dirks shoulder and whispered to him. They walked out into the hallway. I turned my attention to my mom. She was looking at the doorway. She walked out and I heard her, Jake, and Dirk talking, but I couldn't make out what it was about.

"so, then that's settled. She's getting your discharge papers and a note for your P.E. class so the stitches don't get pulled out. That means nothing largely physically demanding" he looked up and glared at me. I tried not to smile. Karkat's hand came down on my arm.

"ow!"

"stop that!"

"stop what?"

"stop thinking dirty!"

"I'm never gonna stop doing that" he glared at me and Rose laughed.


	11. Chapter 10

_**ok so I know this took FOREVER and I apologize but I wasn't inspired and couldn't think of where to go at the end of the last chapter**_

Karkat's POV

I walked out of the hospital. I was holding hands with Dave. I rode with him and Dirk to their apartment. He tried to engage me in a conversation about Japan. Dave was trying not to laugh. It was so amusing to him.

"so were you born in Japan or what?" dirk looked in the rearview mirror to look at me. Dave let out a laugh that showed he was trying to contain his laughter for too long. "what?"

"Bro! He's Chinese!" Dirk's face went red and he looked back to the road. Dave pulled me closer to him. I saw Dirk look up and back to the road.

"it's a shame you cant do anything too physically demanding for awhile" Dave whispered into my ear, causing a shiver to run down my spine. Dirk's face turned a light red again and he smirked. Jake shifted uncomfortably in the passenger seat. They knew. I still had the wristband from the hospital on. The only reason it grabbed my attention was because of Dave fiddling with it.

"whats your last name? Your wristband doesn't even have an initial for it."

"I don't have one. I wasn't exactly given one when I was born, as far as my records show"

"what do you mean as far as your records show?"

"well Kankri is just my brother. Hes not my dad like your 'bro' is for you."

"I know that.." he paused. I could feel an uncomfortable and tense aurora in the car. "so what happened?"

"what makes you think something happened?"

"the way you talk about it"

"well I don't exactly know.."

"what do you mean?"

"it would be best to talk to Kankri about it. He would remember more about it than I would" I nuzzled into his neck. of course I wasn't going to tell him about THAT night. After what I witnessed, there was no way. We spent the rest of the car ride in silence. With the exception of the dirty things Dave whispered to me and the small talk Jake and Dirk had in the front seat. Dave carried me into the apartment building and into their apartment. I insisted on walking but he wouldn't let me walk. It was pretty late and there was school the next day. So I walked to Dave's room and went to sleep.

Dave's POV

"Dave. Come here." I turned and looked down the hallway. Dirk was sticking his head out the doorframe. I walked down the hallway to where Dirk was standing.

"yeah, Bro?" he sauntered into his room and sat on the bed. I followed him and took residence on the chair by the window. Jake was sitting next to him.

"whats your status with Karkat?" I was a little taken aback. I thought it was obvious we were dating.

"we're in a relationship. I thought it was obvious?"

"well, yes, but I meant-"

"he means sexually" Jake interrupted him. His face was super red. Like a British tomato.

"well, we haven't done anything extreme…"

"what I walked in on was pretty extreme" Jake was beginning to get loud. Dirk tried his best to quiet him some.

"please, Jake, it was a hand job and a blowjob. Its not like he was taking me from behind or anything!" my Bro cracked a smile at that. He tried hiding it from Jake, due to the furious Brit becoming angrier by the second.

"Dave, I'm assuming you or HE has never done it before. Am I correct?" I nodded. "okay well, you're gonna need to prepare him." I raised an eyebrow.

"you can't just shove it in and expect him to love it!" Jake was just gonna lay it all out there for me wasn't he? "depending on how.. you know.. he is.. and how.. you are… hes gonna need at least three days of preparation before you decide to do it"

"shit man I'm not fucking stupid! I know he needs to be prepared for my dick. Can I go now?" they were silent. Dirk nodded and I went to my room. Karkat was sleeping. He rolled over a bit when I put my weight on the bed, but was still sleeping. I threw an arm over him and snuggled up against him. I ran a hand through his long black hair and slowly fell asleep.


	12. Chapter 11

Karkat's POV

It was completely dark in Dave's room. I could feel him next to me. I sat up slowly. He sighed in his sleep and rolled over. I scooted off the bed slowly. I opened the door and walked down to the bathroom. I stopped in front of the door. The light was on and the shower was running. I knocked softly on the door. I heard Dirk from the other side tell me to come in. I opened the door and was greeted with a faceful of steam.

I walked over to the toilet and started to use the restroom.

"hey dude don't flush ill do it when I get out ok?" I blushed. This felt so wrong.

"okay"

"oh hey I thought you were Dave. Hes usually up this early"

"its 2 in the morning."

"yeah well he usually goes to bed at 2:30" he paused "oh and sorry for making assumptions that you were Japanese. You just looked it was all"

"I get that a lot my mom was from the Philippines so I kinda do."

"explains why your brother has curly hair then" I nodded, pretending that he could see me. I heard a noise.

"what was that?"

"what was what?" he was hiding something.

"that noise it sounded like a purr."

"we have a cat."

"no you don't."

"ow stop that!"

"im not doing anything"

"not you the cat"

"I don't think Jake likes being called a cat" I zipped up my pants and walked to the bathroom door. I put a hand on the doorknob.

"your brother dropped some clothes off. They're on the couch"

"thanks" I left the bathroom and went back to Dave's room.

I crawled onto the bed and pushed myself against Dave. He put his arms around me. He lazily kissed my forehead. And I fell asleep in his arms.

I woke up some time later. It was brighter and Dave was standing next to the bed. I rolled onto my stomach and pushed myself to sit on my legs. I could feel my stitches tugging at my skin and immediately sat in a different position. Dave put a hand on my head.

"were you watching me sleep?"

"would you be mad if I said yes?"

"no"

"then yes"

"that's borderline stalker, Dave"

"not if you're in my house"

"you mean apartment?"

"don't sass me. We have school to get ready for"

"don't remind me" I stood up and stretched out. "you know I hate school"

"yeah, well, who doesn't?"

"Terezi for one."

"well shes a dumb hoe anyways" I snort-laughed. I knew he was for real, but I couldn't help laughing.

I put a towel over my shoulder and walked to the bathroom giggling.


	13. Chapter 12

Dave's POV

We stopped at the coffee shop, as always. Karkat got a hot chocolate, and so did I. Honestly this hot chocolate was better than the coffee. And I didn't taste it all day. We got to school and walked down the hallways holding hands. Karkat wasn't a fan of PDA, which made me happy. I saw a group of people walking towards us. One of them was wearing blue and red shades. like the old-school 3-d glasses they told you not to use as sunglasses. He was also wearing a shirt.. no a girls shirt, that said… oh god _Queen Bee_? He walked up to Karkat and I and smiled. He seemed nice enough.

"hey Karkat where were you yesterday?" oh god he had a lisp.

"none of your fucking business"

"sure it is what are friends for?"

"well not to bitch about every fucking thing comes to mind"

"hey kk don't flip your shit"

"im not flipping my shit"

"totally are"

"fuck no im not" suddenly a very purple hipster comes up and puts his arm around the 'queen bee'. Well fuck is everyone gay? I looked the hipster in the face. Oh well it was Eridan ok that made since.

"well see you later Karkat and.."

"Dave. This is Dave." Karkat said immediately.

"ah well then, Dave. Be wary of him. Hes got a way of getting what he wants and leaving you."

"you cheated on me and left me."

"I distinctly remember you saying you didn't want me"

"I said I wasn't fucking ready"

"it's the same thing"

"it fucking isn't"

"whatever I found someone who did want me"

"why don't you leave me alone?" I could tell Karkat was getting upset, so I put my arm around him.

"why gonna cut yourself and go to the hospital again?"

"THAT'S ENOUGH" my heart was racing. "SHUT YOUR FUCKING MOUTH ABOUT HIM. I WILL END YOU MYSELF NOW BACK THE FUCK OFF" I realized I was the one yelling. I looked at him. Eridan was smiling. The other kid was wide-eyed. He backed away and walked back down the way he came. I looked down at Karkat and he had tears around the brim of his eyes. I gently wiped them away. I walked him to his first class and sat in there with him. Until the bell rings. I stood and walked to my next class promising to see him after 1st hour.

I walked into my 1st hour and sat in my normal spot. Eridan sat next to me. I looked over at him.

"I'm not gay just so you know."

"then why are you with that bee bitch?"

"it's a cover up for him."

"what are you covering up?"

"everyone says hes gay because he wears girly shirts."

"but?"

"he's straight. He's dating Aradia."

"its so not to embarrass either of them"

"then whats the whole thing with him cheating on Karkat?"

"he did with Aradia not me."

"but why was he dating Karkat if hes straight?"

"to ruin his life the best he can"

"that makes no sense"

"this guy wears girl shirts and is obsessed with bees."

"okay you got me there"

"Sollux hates Karkat for unknown reasons and he gets off from the pain he causes."

"that's insane"

"not as much as Gamzee. He went on a killing spree when people would hurt Karkat. He got locked up in a psych ward."

"why are you telling me this?"

"because Karkat is damaged, and I think you're the only one healthy enough mentally to fix him."

"how do you know this much?"

"I'd rather not say" I raised my eyebrow at him. "trust me best not to know"

I turned my attention to the front of the room. Eridan got up and walked to his normal seat with Sollux. Something was going on and it was beginning to eat at me.


	14. Chapter 13

Karkat's POV

I stood in the hallway. Dave and I agreed to meet here after class. I shifted on my feet. I felt hands over my eyes and whipped around. Dave was smiling behind me smiling.

"sorry I had to talk to my teacher about an assignment"

"its okay I wasn't waiting long" he nuzzled his face into the top of my head. I reached up and placed my hands on his jaw line. I looked up into his eyes. Well, with the exception of his shades. I pushed them up with one hand.

"hey Dave!" I knew that voice. I didn't even have to look over to see who it was. I let go of Dave's shades and put my hands down at my sides.

"what?"

"I want to talk to Karkat"

"what you have to say to him can be said in front of me." Dave put his hand on my shoulder. I looked away from her. I could feel my body freezing. I grabbed Dave's hand and pulled him with me to the lonely bathroom. I could feel tears coming to my eyes. My wrist was throbbing. It was getting painful. I had to talk to him. I couldn't cut again. I had to cry into him or something. Anything that would help me. We went into the bathroom. I was fighting the tears. It was so hard. I leaned up against the furthest wall. Where I was slumped at that day Dave helped me. I slid to the floor. My knees were against my chest. the way I sat pulled at my stitches, but it eased the pain some.

"Karkat?" Dave knelt in front of me. He pulled my hurt leg towards him, so as to take the strain off of it. He sat against the wall next to me and pulled me to him. I let the tears stream my face and onto his shirt. He ran a hand through my hair and rubbed my back. Every once in awhile shooshing me or telling me its okay. I felt him take a hand off of my back. He kept running the one hand through my hair. I snaked my arms around him and bit his shirt collar. "hey Bro? Could you or Jake come get Karkat and I?" he paused "hes having a pretty shitty day. Hes currently having an emotional breakdown" another pause "okay bye." I looked up at Dave. His shirt collar was still in my mouth. "how about we wait for them in the office?" I nodded slightly. He picked me up and carried me to the office. The office aids opened the door for him and he explained that we were going to be picked up. We sat in the office until Jake showed up. He signed us out and Dave picked me up and carried me out to the car.

"how is he?" Jake asked

"I don't know he stopped crying, but hes been silent this whole time" there was a pause "almost like his mind is frozen"

"well ill make him a hot chocolate and a croissant sandwich, maybe he'll feel better" Dave sat us in the backseat and held me. I looked up at Dave. He didnt have his shades on. I reached up and touched his face. His hand held mine against his soft, warm skin.

"you're going to get a migraine"

"it will be so worth it." His eyes teared up some, like he had thought the worst and I gave him the best news in the entire fucking world.

" put your shades on asshole" I smiled and he bit his lip. He pushed his shades from the top of his head onto his face.

"better?" I nodded

"how are you feeling Karkat?"

"still pretty lousy, but I mean that's to be expected" jakes face proved some deep concern.

Eventually we got to the apartment. Dave tried to carry me into the building and through the building but I refused. Arguing that depression goes away with a nice walk. Even though he knew I was lying he still allowed me to walk. We walked through the door and I saw a glimpse of a running Dirk. What the fuck dude?

"BRO! I CALLED YOU AHEAD OF TIME SO YOU WOULD HAVE SOME DAMN CLOTHES ON!"

"im sorry Dave!"

"don't feed me that bullshit!"

"you know nudity is art!"

"only if you wear poison ivy for a dick holder"

"im sorry if I want this fabulous bod in museums forever"

"you know as well as I do that the real money is art that five year olds do"

"abstract art is bullshit"

"I know like fucking yellow square in the middle of a blue canvas. It's a motherfucking tree like how?"

"because fuck you that's how" Dirk walked out of his room and down the hall towards us. "better?" I looked down and wasn't entirely sure it WAS better. He was wearing an orange and white laced panty. Not like men panties. They were WOMEN'S panties. I felt my face grow red. "well it looks like Karkat likes them" I covered my face and he laughed. "im teasing you, dude." I walked to Dave's room and sat on the bed. Dave wasn't too far behind me.

"Jake said that he will be back in with your hot chocolate and sandwich soon. He had to go to the café to get it"

"okay so what do we do now?"

"we wait for that and whatever else he plans on getting you"

"wait what?"

"Jake has a lot of sympathy and has been through a lot he is VERY emotionally connected. So he does everything he can to make people feel better" I looked down at my hands and smiled.

"he really is English" I heard Dave laugh next to me.

"so much so that its his last name"

"really?"

"yup and Englishman with the last name of English. You could almost swear that he was the one who created the brits"

"well hes a gentleman"

"hes gay AND European"

"true" Dave put his arm around me and pulled me close to him. He put a finger under my chin and lifted my face up to look at him. His lips pressed against mine softly. Parting slightly. I put my hands on both sides of his face. He pulled me closer. I slid into his lap forcing him to look up at me. He ran a hand up my leg to my hip. He paused and growled. I bent down and bit his neck. His nails dug into my hip.

"fuck" his other hand roamed up my back and down to my ass. My jeans started getting tighter. The fabric pressed against my growing member. I felt like I needed this, but something was holding me back. Dave slid my shirt off and traced over some of my scars. The older ones. The ones I always had.

"wait"

"what? Am I moving this too fast?"

"yes and no. I want to tell you about these" I traced the scars over my body. Starting with the one on my ribcage. Then the three in a straight line going down my abdomen. And finally the two on each side of my chest.

"I never even noticed them before now" at least he was honest.

"well I'm listening whenever you're ready to talk about it."

"okay cause I'm not ready to talk about it yet" he ran a hand through my hair and smiled up at me.

"I can wait forever if that's what it takes" the door opened and Jake came in with a hot chocolate and a croissant sandwich. He handed them to me and then left the room. I ate my food and drank my hot chocolate without much disturbance from Dave. When I finished I stood to take my trash to the kitchen. Jake came up behind me and handed me a giant box.

"what is this?"

"just a thing" he turned around and walked into Dirk's room. I walked back to Dave's room with the giant box and received a knowing look from Dave. I sat down on the bed and started to open the box. What the fuck was this? I opened one flap and then the other. I looked into the box and suddenly I was ecstatic I jumped up off the bed and ran into Dirk's room. Jake jumped off of him and landed against the wall. I couldn't tell out of respect or fright.

"dude thanks so fucking much how the fuck did you know?"

"your brother told me" I ran back you Dave's room to find a puzzled Dave shuffling through my box of romantic comedies.

"dude what is with you and these?"

"I FUCKING LOVE ROMCOMS"

"well we can watch one later then. Right now im pretty sleepy and in dire need of a cuddle fest with my boyfriend" I laid down next to him and cuddled with him and fell asleep with the warm feeling that was growing inside of me.


	15. Chapter 14

Dave's POV

This movie was so lame, but it made Karkat happy so I watched it. Spanglish I think the name was. It had Adam Sandler in it so it wasn't horrible. Just lame and like every other rom-com in existence. The nerd was laying on the couch, his head in my lap. I ran a hand through his hair. I thought about what Eridan had told me. It made me wonder how close he and Karkat were. Maybe it was because of Cronus? I doubted it. I don't think Cronus would do that, unless Eridan WAS close to him. I looked down at Karkat. I wasn't gonna bother him about this until the movie was over, but try not to pry too much. If he doesn't wanna tell me I could always ask Eridan. I mean tomorrow is Wednesday. And we have a lot of classes together, so its not like I wont see him and go out of my way to ask him. I looked at the calendar hanging on the wall. January is almost over. Next month was the month of pink and red, sex, and romantic movies everywhere. I wonder what I should do for the 14th? It seemed like Karkat didn't give two shits he just wanted to be with me. The thought made me smile. I looked back at the tv so he thought I was watching this movie with him. Karkat rolled onto his back and took my hand into his. I looked down and smiled at him.

"did you like it?" he asked

"well, it was pretty good for a romcom."

"you didn't watch it did you?"

"of course I did. Affair and the other lady learned English and they never returned to the house" he glared at me. Though I didn't actually pay attention to it I knew what had been going on.

"what were you thinking about?"

"how close are you and Eridan?" his eyes widened and he sat up, letting go of my hand in the process. He turned to face me and took my hand again.

"we used to be really good friends.." he bit his lip. He wasn't looking at me he stared at our hands. "then Sollux came and ruined everything"

"how did he do that?"

"he told me he didn't love me. That he felt sorry for me and that's why he dated me." A tear rolled down his cheek. I reached out and wiped his eyes. "then he said he was fucking Eridan. I couldn't believe that without asking Eridan first, so I asked him without Sollux there. And he said nothing was going on between them. And so I let it go, the next day I walked into the school building and they were engaging in a sloppy makeout. That was the first day I ever skipped school. I walked back home and stayed in my room. Kankri came home a few hours later, the school called him to let him know I wasn't at school. And that was the first time I was ever taken to the hospital. Cronus was there Eridan came with him. I refused to talk with him there. I didn't want to see him. He had lied to me. I couldn't just ignore that. The hospital wanted to keep me for a couple weeks. I was okay with that, but Kankri wasn't. he could barely afford the house, much less the hospital bills, so he had me released and he was given a note to take to the school that I was to be excused for the next two weeks"

"what did you do to yourself that was so bad?" he didn't look at me. He stood up and pulled down his pants. It stood out like black paint on a white canvas. ENGRAVED in his thigh was the word 'liar' I reached out and touched it. It felt like it had been burned into his skin a few days ago. He pulled his pants back up and sat back down on the couch. I looked at him. He had tears running down his face. I could feel pain in my chest. I reached over and wiped his face with my hand again.

"and so I stayed at home. Longer than the two weeks I was told to.. I was close to getting expelled. At the time I didn't care. Then, I got a letter from Gamzee, it was sloppily wrote, but that's how he wrote"

"what did it say?"

"that he was never going to be released and that Kankri had written to him that I wasn't going to school.. he said and I quote: 'you need to get your motherfucking ass back to that motherfucking school. If you don't they motherfucking win' so the next day I went to school. And I ignored everybody. Terezi was glad to see me back, but she has bipolar disorder so it didn't last long"

"I didn't know she was bipolar"

"yeah, she was diagnosed with it when she was with Gamzee, but he was abusive to her for reasons I still don't understand, or even know" he ran a hand through his hair and looked up at me for the first time. "but he was always really laid back, so I couldn't imagine why he would do that to her or.. those people. I know Terezi was never a good friend, but she at least never hurt me on purpose, at least as far as I know" I put my hand on his shoulder and pulled him towards me. He leaned against me and wrapped his arms around my body. He went silent for awhile. I looked down at him to see him looking up at me.

"can I help you?" he smiled at me

"yes you can" he replied

"what can I help you with today?" he pushed himself up, so his face was level with mine. He pressed his lips to mine. He moved himself into my lap. His arms moved behind me. His tongue slid into my mouth. I put my hands on his thighs and slowly moved them to his hips that were currently grinding into me. His breathing was getting heavier. He broke the kiss and buried his face into my neck.

"can you two like move it?" I turned my head to see my bro just kinda standing there watching us. "like for real its getting a little too heated. For all four of us" I looked towards the kitchen to find Jake standing there frozen. Just staring. Karkat climbed off of me and sat next to me on the couch. I looked at him. His face was extremely red. He pulled the bottom of his shirt down to cover his groin. Dirk walked over and sat next to Karkat. Jake walked over and sat on the arm of the couch and sipped his tea. I noticed his face was red also.

"Jake you look like a goddamned British tomato what the hell?" he straightened and turned to look at me. He stood up slowly and sat his tea on the coffee table. Then out of no where he screamed. Karkat climbed into my lap and put his arms around me.

"I DO NOT LOOK LIKE A TOMATO HOLY SHIT! I HATE TOMATOES AND THE COLOUR RED!ALL THREE OF YOU HAVE SAID IT! I CAN ACCEPT IT FROM DIRK BUT WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK?!" Dirk stood up and walked to the front door. "Dirk? Where are you going?"

"I need a smoke" he opened the door and walked out. Jake ran to the door and followed him.

"well that was odd" I looked up at Karkat and carried him to my room, shutting the door with my foot behind me.

 _ **Author's note: okay so I know these past few chapters has had a lot of mistakes in them and I'm sorry, but I've been staying up late writing these and the sleep deprivation (borderline) is beginning to take its toll on my body. again I apologize. please leave reviews yadda yadda. I have no idea when I will end this (it may be never) bear with me and leave suggestions thanks for bearing with me thus far.**_


	16. Chapter 15

Karkat's POV

My heart was pounding. It felt like my face was on fire. It was probably 5 o' clock now. I was laying on my back, my feet on Dave's back. I just told him everything. About the scars. He's been silent the whole time. I realized how much I wanted him out in the living room earlier in the day. The silence he was providing was killing me. I wanted him to say something. He turned to look at me. I took my feet off his back and let him turn around completely. He held his hand out to me. I took it and he pulled me up.

"how bout some food?" I nodded and he pulled me off the bed with him. He opened his bedroom door and we left the apartment and walked a couple blocks to a large truck stop/ café type thing. We sat ourselves at a booth pretty far from the other people in the building. He sat across from me. We ordered our drinks and talked about random shit. Something seemed off with him. I tried not to bring it up, but it was hard to ignore how different he seemed after telling him about everything. My phone buzzed in my pocket. I pulled it out and looked at it. It was a text from Terezi. I furrowed my brow and pushed my phone back into my pocket. I would check it later. We sat and talked some more, before going to see a movie down the street. It was apparently something Dave had wanted to see. Some kind of action horror movie that I was actually very excited to watch. John Cusack was playing as Edgar Allan Poe in the Raven. I couldn't even understand why it was rated R. it wasn't scary and the most gory thing was one of the reenactment stories from the pit and the pendulum. I loved blood. Gory stories and shows were always so great. By the end of the movie I was so pumped to do some more stuff. We went to the Arcade and played a round in every game there.

We walked back to his apartment. We walked into the lobby and sat in a few chairs there. I remembered the text I had gotten from Terezi. I unlocked my phone. I read the text blood rushed into my ears. My stomach turned and I felt sick. I looked at Dave. Everything was blurry. I ran a hand through my hair. My heart was pounding. I stood up and stumbled towards the entrance. I heard my name called behind me, barely. I looked down at my phone again. This couldn't be happening. I opened the door to the entrance and leaned against the wall. The cool breeze comforted me it cooled me off the streets and sidewalks were barren. There was nobody out this late on this side of town. I brought my knees up to my chest. how could this happen? I heard someone stop in front of me. The other was silent for awhile. I refused to look up, nothing good could come from it. who just stands in front of someone crumpled on the ground? A psycho that's who. My stomach turned at the thought. _Psycho. A psycho that's who_. My body went cold. I could feel the other persons eyes burning a hole into the top of my head. I felt sick. Every time the thought came across my mind again, I could feel the burning getting hotter. _Psycho. Psycho. Psycho._ I could feel my body shaking, trembling. I heard him snicker. My body started warming up. I knew that laugh. It was oddly familiar. I just couldn't place it.

"how about some help, Best Friend?" I froze. I knew that voice, that gravelly voice that sounded like he was on drugs. It was a voice that I had heard so many times in the past one that used to comfort me, one that I grew to be afraid of. He gently kicked my foot. "hey, Best Friend" I looked up slowly. He was wearing white pants and a white straight jacket. His hair was a mess as always. His face wasn't painted like it usually was.

"Gamzee?"

 _ **Author's note: Yaas that's right :3 well okay I cant take credit for this turn of events, in fact the person who inspired me to do this was LunaOkumura on here. I asked for some help to keep this story rolling and she was the only one who gave me any kind of idea. I thank her for that because otherwise this story would have probably died. Write reviews if you would like to or PM me any ideas you may or may not have. ALSO The Raven is a real movie and those are my real thoughts on it! i suggest watching it of you can handle blood and LOOOVE Edgar Allan Poe and John Cusack. I'm not getting paid to say this, i just really love that movie.**_


	17. Chapter 16

~Dave's POV~

I saw him out there, talking to a man in a straight jacket. The man turned his back to me to keep the front of his body exposed to Karkat. I looked at where the jacket should have been tied. I could clearly see his hands clutching the straps and one was holding a knife. I started walking closer to the door. Over my dead body if this guy was going to hurt Karkat. I stepped out the front door and stood in plain sight to the both of them.

"what are you gonna do with that knife?" he glared at me.

"what knife, mother fucker?" his voice was smooth and gravelly, it was somehow calming to listen to, but not as much as listening to Morgan Freeman.

"the one behind your back"

"Dave, he doesn't have anything behind his back. Hes strapped into a straight jacket for fuck's sake"

"I saw behind his back. He's clutching the straps and a knife" the look in this guy's eye was growing more and more irritated by the second. He dropped his arms to the side and threw the knife on the ground by Karkat's feet.

"you mean that?" I nodded. "mother fucker, that isn't a knife. That's a mother fucking shiv" I looked back down at it.

"looks like a steak knife to me, but okay" I felt pressure on my throat. I couldn't breathe. I reached up to grab a thick fabric. I struggled against it.

"never let your MOTHER FUCKING guard down, mother fucker" I struggled and gasped for air. Everything was slowly going black. The pressure released abruptly and I fell forward. I barely caught myself with my hands the fabric that was around my neck fell at my knees. I looked behind me. Karkat was holding the steak knife against this guy's throat. I struggled to listen.

"he never tried to hurt me, Gamzee! If you should be after anyone it's Terezi and Sollux! They're the ones who hurt me more than anyone!"

"what about Eridan? He was hurting you the most when I was put away"

"maybe so, but I still trust him"

"your ex cheated on you with him and he denied it to your mother fucking face!"

"no, he didn't" I coughed still struggling to get air. "it was a cover for Sollux. Sollux was fucking Aradia and he had too much pride to tell Karkat he was fucking a girl instead. Eridan didn't want to hurt Karkat, but what do you do when that kind of shit gets pinned on you? Eridan is still dating Feferi, but at school they act like they hate each other to keep this whole fraud of a love fest going. Eridan told me that he hates what Sollux has been doing to Karkat, but there's nothing he can do" I looked up. They were both looking down at me. Gamzee took the knife from Karkat and slowly walked down the street, before disappearing behind some buildings. I stood up and inhaled deeply. The cold air burned my lungs. Karkat put an arm around me. I put an arm around his shoulders and forced a smile at him.

"he's going to kill them, Dave. And theres nothing we can do to stop him."

"that's why we call the cops and have them go to every one of those fuckers houses" he nodded.

"did Eridan really say all of that to you?"

"more or less. Some of it I figured out for myself" we walked into the elevator and pressed the button for my floor. We stood in the elevator acending until it stopped. The doors opened and my bro and Jake were standing there. Jake rushed over to us.

"are you two okay?! We heard a psychopath was on the loose!" Karkat nodded.

"yeah were fine."

"oh really?" Bro stepped forward and lifted my chin. "then what's this mark?"

"uhhh" Karkat stuttered trying to think of a reply.

"rough sex" Karkat went silent. I imagined the look on his face to be priceless. Bro kept staring into my eyes, albeit looking for a hint of a lie. I refused to let him see that I was lying and stared straight back into his shades.

"you let him top you?" he raised an eyebrow. I could see it had lifted behind his shades.

"why not let the little guy feel powerful for once?" he smirked and let go of my face. And nodded. I made sure to change my walk to a more believable just-had-rough-anal-sex walk. We all walked to the apartment. My bro would turn and look at us every once in awhile. When we reached the apartment Karkat and I went to my room. We went silent long enough for them to believe we were asleep. Karkat rolled over and looked up at me.

"why did you tell them that?" he whispered

"because otherwise they would freak the fuck out. At least, sex is a possibility. Plus they both know how mean you can be" I whispered back at him.

"I'm not mean, asshole"

"ouch that hurt. Why are you so mean to me?"

"because you love it, obviously" I smiled. It was a nice change of pace, rather than being treated so nicely all the time, at least he was playful about it.

"you're not wrong" I put my arms around him and pulled him close to me.

"I don't want him to kill anymore people, Dave"

"I know"

"no matter how much they hurt me, they don't deserve to be killed the way he kills"

"how does he kill?"

"trust me when I say: you don't want to know" he nuzzled into my shoulder. "I was horrified when I found out"

"I'll take your word for it"

"we have to go to the police in the morning"

"we will, I promise"

 _ **Author's note: okay so i have the next few chapters planned out, and i think I'm nearing the end of this story, if of course all goes as planned. I'm also working on another story and am stumped on that, but it should be rolling soon. It'll either be the next chapter or the one after it where the smuttiest thing for this story will come in. again that will depend on how things roll in the next couple of chapters. I still suggest leaving some reviews, but thats up to you as you are the reader. I apologize for these chapters being so short, but I'm also working on a comic version of this and I'm putting more time and effort into that right now. bear with me a little while longer.**_


	18. Chapter 17

Karkat's POV

I barely slept. I could really go for some caffeine right now. I pulled my wallet out to examine how much money I had left for the weekend. I still had all the money from the day before. Of course I did Dave didn't let me spend any god damned money. I sat in the interrogation room. I knew Dave was in the other one. A few minutes later the door opened. A female sat down in front of me. She was a cop obviously, but there was something familiar about her.

"alright, Karkat, start from the beginning. What did he look like and where was he heading?"

"he looked like the guy that escaped from the nut hut OBVIOUSLY"

"obviously, but was there anything different about him since the last time you had seen him? They don't exactly update their 'mug-shots' if you will"

"he had three scars going across his face, and his features were more mature looking"

"okay now where was he heading when you last saw him?"

"he was going south down North Main street"

"do you know how long that street is?"

"well since it's the only road that really connects the north and south parts of the city, it's at least five miles long"

"do you know anyone who he may have been affiliated with while in the asylum?"

"you mean other than his family?"

"yes"

"no clue" I watched her write some things down on some paper. She rubbed her nose and furrowed her brow.

"okay any other leads you may or may not have for me?"

"well, he was set on going after the people who had hurt me"

"who all was that?"

"my ex and my friend"

"names, Karkat, I need names"

"Sollux Captor and Terezi Pyrope" I looked at her nametag, maybe it would give me an idea as to who she was and why she was so familiar. I felt my body go cold as I read her last name.

"so that maniac will be coming home one night, then" I looked at her.

"I'm sorry"

"I figured he would try to hurt my sister one day anyways" she stood and opened the door. "thank you Karkat you've been a big help" I walked down the hall to where Dave was sitting. I could feel her eyes on the back of my head. Dave stood when he saw me and put an arm around my waist. "hey, Kar" I turned to look at her again. "sorry about my sister, just so you know. She's always been a meddler" I smiled.

"it's fine Latula" we walked out the front door of the police station.

"so I'm assuming that was Terezi's sister?"

"yeah, her guardian, too. Their mom was killed and at the time Latula was barely old enough to take custody" he went silent for awhile. "dude I need to go to Walmart or something"

"what for?"

"caffeine"

"sounds good, there's one not far from here" we walked through the parking lot and towards the sliding doors. "do you want to get anything else while we're here?"

"like what?"

"dunno, I figured if you wanted we could also disturb the natives" he smiled down at me, his shades mirroring my reflection back at me.

"sounds good to me" I paid for my energy drink and sipped it on the benches by the hair salon. This walmart wasn't huge, so it only had one set of doors, with the exception of the ones by the garden center. I rested my head on Dave's shoulder. His arm was wrapped around me, his hand resting on my hip. We lived in a small town in a southern state in America where 90% of the population hated gays and the 10% that didn't were either teenagers or gays. We got a lot of glares and snorts, but ignored them. Dave allowed me the pleasure of finishing my Monster Energy Drink. I hated energy drinks, but I really felt like I needed one. Halfway done with it, I could feel the energy giving me a kick. I looked over at Dave. From where I was sitting I could see his eyes. He had dark circles under his eyes, like he was tired. He looked down at me and kept smiling.

"what do you want, crab cakes?" I furrowed my brow. Crab cakes? Is that some weird play on words from cupcakes, but switched for my love of crabs? I knew it was a real food but what the hell?

"you look tired, friend. The Bannered Mare has beds for rent" his smile broadened.

"you have become obsessed with my game haven't you?"

"yes. Yes I have" I handed him the energy drink.

"what you done?"

"yeah and you look like you could use the rest" he looked down at the can and took a drink.

"you know what this place needs?"

"what?"

"an uproar of anger and frustration"

"what do you have in mind?" he smiled and placed a hand on my cheek.

"nothing too obscene, but it'll get the job done" he pressed his lips against mine. They were soft warm and inviting. I could feel the shift in surroundings from annoyance to anger. I could feel a smile tugging at the corner of my lips. Dave parted from me and took another drink from the can. "that's more like it. you can actually feel the hatred flowing from every human being and circling around us. I didn't think the change would happen instantly" he stood up and downed the rest of the drink. He walked into the hair salon and threw it away, before emerging and walking deeper into the building. I followed him to the garden center.

"hey, Dave!" Jade ran out towards us and smiled. All of her attention was fixed onto Dave. I knew she was home schooled, but her brother was not. Dave grabbed the sleeve of my shirt and pulled me closer to him. He grabbed my hand and intertwined our fingers. His grip was slowly getting tighter and I could tell he was getting irritated. His lips stayed in that straight line, but his eyes behind his shades were giving her the angriest stare I had ever seen from him.

"hey, Dave, we really need to grab that thing for your bro"

"oh what thing?" Jade was oblivious to the fact that I was trying to get her away from us, which wasn't good. "I work here I can help you find it"

"he wants a cactus, but a very specific cactus" she finally turned her attention to me.

"what kind?"

"he wants one that looks like Rainbow Dash"

"we don't have any like that but I can double check if you want"

"that would be lovely" we watched her scurry off to the plants and I looked up at Dave.

"you do know we'll have to buy it if she finds one, right?"

"I'll buy it"

"your damned right you'll buy it" I could feel his grip loosen. We watched her scurry around the cactuses before rushing towards us with one in hand.

"this is the closest I got to one" I looked at it. It looked enough like her to pass it off, but if Dirk really did have an eye for art he would know it looked more like Twilight Sparkle. I ended up learning WAY too many character names staying at Dave's house on the weekends.

"Jade, dear, that looks like Twilight Sparkle"

"oh, I'm sorry I guess we don't have any then. Is there anything else I can help you with?" the garden center had acquired more people and Dave had a mischievous smirk on his face.

"yeah, what would be the best lube for my boyfriend's ass?" Dave spun me around, so my back was to her. I could feel my face heat up. Nothing too obscene my ass! "you see, he's very sensitive" I turned around to face Jade and the other angry customers. Jade's face was bright red.

"um, I-I don't know"

"well, that's a shame. I hoped we could have the fuck of our lives tonight, looks like it has to wait" Dave looked down at me. "you hear that? We can't fuck tonight either"

"well damned the luck! I was hoping for some riding time"

"I know you were, dear. Anyways, see you later Jade" we turned and walked out of the garden center giggling. We walked to the other side of the store to the food isles. We went down the baked goods isle and I stopped in my tracks and stared at a cupcake mix. It was a watermelon cupcake mix and I was just staring at it. I needed these in my life, but they were made by the horrendous Betty Crocker. Was it because of Easter coming up? I looked at the other limited edition cupcakes. Yes. I can finally confirm that it was made for Easter.

"Karkat!" I couldn't remove myself from the spot I was currently at. Dave placed a hand on my shoulder. "do you want some cupcakes?"

"I don't know"

"what do you mean you don't know?"

"I do, but they're Betty Crocker mixes"

"who cares its just a cupcake mix" he walked over to them "which one?"

"watermelon"

"that just sounds unappealing, but okay" he picked the box off of the shelf and grabbed the watermelon icing. "now come on, Bro just called me he needs us to get back now"

Dave's POV

Bro had sounded pretty worried and panicked. I had no idea what about, but it made me panic. Just enough to worry me way more than I would have liked to allow Karkat to know. I didn't realize how fast I was moving until I got to th registers and Karkat was running behind me. He stopped beside me panting.

"dude you're almost a foot and a half taller than me. I cant keep up when you walk that fast"

"sorry, babe"

"what happened? What did your bro tell you?"

"nothing, but he was worried about something. He needs us back now"

"if you're gonna run you should totally carry me, so I don't pull the stitches in my leg"

"I'm not gonna run. I don't run"

"yes you do"

"when?"

"gym class"

"only because I have to"

we checked out and continued back to the apartment. Karkat held my hand so I wouldn't walk too fast. I opened the front door and walked to the living room. Bro was sitting on the couch. There were bottles of alcohol littered everywhere. He never got drunk without sending me to a friends house for the night.

"bro?"

"Dave, sit down" I walked around and sat on the floor opposite of him. Karkat sat next to me. "how close are you to John?"

"after he turned 15 we stopped talking as much. We kinda went our separate ways. Why are you suddenly asking me about him?"

"how about you Karkat?"

"I was never close to him. We had some classes together had a couple similar interests. That was about it"

"bro, what is this all about?"

"John was found badly beaten. He's in a coma" a chill ran down my spine. My stomach turned. I used to have feelings for him, but shit went down and we went our separate ways. I looked over at Karkat. His expression was blank, but his eyes gave away what he was thinking.

"any idea what he was beaten with?"

"they said it looked like something blunt, like a crowbar, but heavier, more rounded"

"like juggling clubs?"

"yeah, I think they said clubs. How did you know?"

"same thing an old friend of mine was beaten with" his brows furrowed and it looked like something inside him was about to snap "juggling clubs. He told me she tried screaming for me to help, but I was too far away to hear her"

"who said that?" bro looked at him. He was genuinely worried and concerned for Karkat.

"does it even fucking matter?"

"Karkat," he looked at me. His glare was like a fire straight into my stomach and chest that evoked fear "it wasn't your fault" I could see him relax some. His eyes turned sad and he stood and walked to my door without another word. He stopped at my doorway and looked me dead in the eye. "he's not going to stop until I get back together with him"

 _ **Author's note: okay so this was a LOOONG time coming. I apologize for the wait and everything, I've not been motivated cause work and i FINALLY finished this chapter. Also, who else saw that coming? i sure didnt and I'm the author! I never even shipped it, but i figured I'd go with the flow for this one :3 anyways., leave me a review for how its going so far or whatever (i plan on finishing this and not discontinuing it, but like i said i have little to no motivation so it will take some time please just bear with me a little while longer) also if i dont reply to you dont take it personal i am a busy lady trying to make a living and write gay smut that has nothing to do with female parts .**_


	19. Chapter 18

Dave's POV

I had been in the parking lot for well over an hour. I knew that fucking maniac was on the loose, but I was so fucking stressed I couldn't even see straight. Jake pulled into the guest parking spot that he usually parked in. he was a creature of habit. Fucking nerd. He got out of his car and walked up to me.

"what are you doing out here?"

"stressing, sorry about your cousin by the way"

"he's a trooper, he'll be fine"

"got a cigarette?"

"you're only 17, I it isn't legal"

"you know damn well that Bro doesn't care"

"fine" he pulled out a carton of cigarettes and handed it to me. I took one out and shoved the carton n my pocket. He handed me a lighter and I lit it. I took a long drag from it before letting the smoke out of my lungs. "what has you stressing?" I sat down on the curb and ran a hand through my hair.

"the maniac on the lose is Karkat's ex and is trying to kill anyone who gets too close to him OR tries to stop him because he wants to be with him again" I could feel Jake's eyes piercing into the top of my skull, as if he wanted to know more, but I didn't have more to say, instead I took another long drag from the cigarette. He took that as enough of an answer.

"so, you're having conflicting feelings about Karkat now?"

"no, more like how he would know that. Karkat is smart, that's obvious, but Gamzee is a maniac. No matter how I look at it, there is no possible way for anyone to know that for sure-"

"unless they've been talking" I froze. There was no way. Gamzee wasn't able to send out letters. There was no phone for him to use while in the ward. My brows furrowed. After what Gamzee had done to him, there was no way Karkat would have spoken to him again. Theres still pieces to the puzzle missing, I cant put it together. I was torn from my thoughts when I was shaken gently. I looked over at Jake who was studying me. "you okay?" I looked down at my cigarette and took a final drag from it, before crushing it under my foot.

"yeah, fine, theres just some things I still need to figure out"

"how about we go in? I'm sure you've worried Karkat enough"

"probably, I have to ask him something anyways" we stood up and walked into the apartment complex. We stayed silent most of the way up to the apartment. A short ways away from the hall Jake looked at me.

"it smells a lot like liquor"

"oh yeah, Bro's getting drunk"

"and you left Karkat ALONE with him?"

"yeah, whats the big deal?"

"nothing… lets hope its nothing" I opened the front door. Bro was stumbling around the kitchen in his underwear. "what are you looking for, Dirk?"

"a knife"

"you don't need a knife"

"yeah I do. Theres something crawling under my skin and its making me angry"

"calm down, I'll get it for you"

Jake walked to him and led him to his room. well, HALF led him HALF carried him. I shut and locked the door behind me and sauntered off to my own room. Karkat had some serious explaining to do.

 _ **Author's note: so i dont even know what happened here. it was just something that kind of happened. apparently Dave is mad at Karkat. on a side note: in case you didnt know Hussie has started updating Homestuck. its nearing the end guys. so go check that out if you havent already.**_


	20. Chapter 19

Dave's POV

Karkat was curled up into a ball on my bed. I came around to the front of him and knelt there. I crossed my arms under my chin and rested my head. Of course he was asleep. He had been crying. He still had tears on his face. I used my thumb to wipe them away. I debated on going to his house and staying a few days with him there. Undoubtedly, that's where Gamzee would be lurking around. I'd rather not get strangled again. Karkat breathed in deeply and rolled over. I didn't want to wake him up. I needed to know how he knew whether that's how Gamzee really felt or not. I pushed myself off of the floor and walked out of my room. I shut the door behind me and walked into the kitchen to get myself something to eat.

Karkat's POV

I rolled onto my back. After what I had said, I really wanted to avoid confrontation as long as possible. I knew I would have to talk to him about it tomorrow at the latest, but it was better than right this second. I heard the beeping of the microwave and it caused me to remember that I hadn't eaten today. The smell of pasta wafted into my nose and my stomach let out an audible growl that forced me to hunch over. I rolled back onto my side and forced the thought of food out of my head and thought of Gamzee. Why did that asshole have to show up now of all times? I could feel eyes on me. Burning into my back. I looked behind me at the always-uncovered window. There was a silhouette of a man there. His eyes seemed to glow a purple colour. His hair was a mess. He was scrawny, but slightly muscular. The door opened and he was gone and I was left staring at the window.

"Karkat?" I didn't move. "Karkat, are you okay?" I nodded, but continued to watch the window. He had come to watch me sleep, like he used to when he was done killing. Thinking about him being done with murder almost made me smile. ALMOST. "dude, come on, we need to talk" I shifted through my thoughts to come up with an excuse, and, of course, I couldn't think of one. I sat up slowly and looked at Dave.

"yeah okay"

"how would you know if Gamzee wanted to get back together with you?"

"he always had a weird asphyxiation with me. I never knew why, honestly I still don't, but after we broke it off it was like all he wanted was to make sure I was happy, and that no one got in the way of that" Dave nodded. He seemed genuinely interested in what I was saying. "and if he thought anyone got in the way, he would kill them"

"so, why would he have tried to kill me?"

"he probably thinks you want to do what Sollux did to me. Date me just to make me the happiest person I could be, then, turn around and break it off with me, date a friend of mine, and laugh as I fall into a depression it would take a miracle to get out of"

"you know I wouldn't do that right?"

"I know, but its hard to trust anyone anymore"

"I can relate to that"

"can I go back to sleep now?"

"yeah, I mean unless you're hungry"

"starving"

 _ **Author's note: so as i said in my previous chapter, ive been busy with work and such, so i apologize for not updating this story as much ;-; i was super inspired by that song "Never Forget You" by Zara Lasson (high recommendation) also Shawn Hook's "Sound Of Your Heart" idk when ill get inspired next, but please leave a rate or something, and ill do my best to update every chance i get!**_


	21. Chapter 20

I followed him out of his room and I heated myself up some pasta. Dave and I sat mostly in silence other than the couple of jokes made about Jade being obsessed over Dave.

"shes always completely different around you"

"I know as soon as I walk into the room she tries to play the cool girl, it's kind of pathetic actually"

"she's such a sweet and smart girl, I don't know why she has to pretend to be someone she's not"

"because when someone's so different from you and you like them, you feel like you have to be someone else to seem like you have more in common with them"

"I guess that makes since, but its much easier to build a legitimate connection with someone"

"like what we did?" I thought about it for a moment. He and I had enough in common, but we had different ways with dealing with our depression and anxieties. What he was saying made since, he didn't understand my issues or ways of coping and I didn't understand his. It still works between us, but had I liked him before I probably would have acted differently. "Karkat? You okay?"

"oh yeah, sorry I was thinking about what you said. Yes, exactly like what we did" I looked up at Dave, his eyes were shielded by his sunglasses. He was smiling as he brought a fettuccini noodle to his lips. I looked down at my own bowl of pasta. I had been done with my bowl for awhile. I got up to take it to the sink and cleaned it. Dave came up behind me and rested his chin on the top of my head. His hands held loosely to my waist.

"are you still tired?"

"no"

"want to watch a movie?"

"sure what movie?"

"you chose"

"I want you to chose though"

"how come?" I turned to face him, his hands not moving from my body.

"because we're doing whatever you want to tonight"

"anything?" he asked an eyebrow raised above his shades. I reached up and pulled them off gently.

"absolutely anything" he leaned down and pressed his lips to mine. I felt a blush raise to my cheeks. I brought my arms around his neck and slid my tongue along his bottom lip. His mouth opened and allowed me to slip my tongue inside. His hips pressed into mine, pushing me against the counter. He broke the kiss and leaned down to kiss and bite at my neck. his hands roamed to my thighs and he pulled me up onto the counter. I was biting my lip harder than I was meaning to. I could taste the blood slipping into my mouth. Dave ran his tongue along my earlobe. I gasped, I could feel my face turning red. He bit hard into my neck. I moaned and wrapped my legs around his waist. He dug his fingers into my side.

"could you two move that into your room please?" I froze, the English accent startling me for a moment.

"sure"

 _ **author's note: *apologizes profusely for short chapter and lack of updates* something to look forward to: the next chapter will be allll smut~~**_


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